The emotional effects of disinheritance: Would you disinherit your son or daughter?

A thought-provoking question I know, nevertheless, it’s one that you need to answer. The emotional effects of disinheritance, should you decide to disinherit your son or daughter, could take years for them getting over being disinherited from the estate.

Do you want them to suffer from the consequences being disinherited? Think carefully before you answer this question since it could have devastating life changing impact on them for the rest of their lives!

Disinheriting family members: What does it mean to disinherit a child?

It means to take away the right and opportunity for someone to inherit their share of the estate.

Can you disinherit a child in your will?

Yes, you can, although your reasons, need to be clear, and you need to explain and demonstrate why you won’t make reasonable provisions for your child.

Any form of ambiguity, lack of reasoning or explanation for disinheriting your child could lead to being challenged in court.

What are the legal rights of the disinherited child according to disinheritance UK law?

Consistent with disinheritance UK law, disinherited children and adults make claims under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975.

Learn more about the rights of the disinherited child in Melita Jackson’s story.

What is disinheritance? Disinheritance definition according to estate and inheritance tax planning

Disinheritance happens when family members are excluded from their share of the estate.

What is sideways disinheritance?

Sideways disinheritance happens when you intentionally or unintentionally disinherit your son or daughter from the estate.

What are the emotional effects of disinheritance in families?

The emotional effects of disinheritance are the strong feelings of disbelief, bewilderment or even hatred towards parents and foster carers that exclude siblings from the family estate in their will.

Your son or daughter could suffer and experience the emotional effects of disinheritance

The brutal truth is that you may intentionally or unintentionally disinherit your son or daughter! Over half of the UK has wills.

This means, unless this situation changes and all adults with children in the UK have wills, there is the possibility that their children could be disinherited!

The emotional effects of disinheritance could still happen to your son or daughter with basic wills!

You see, wills can be contested, so even having a will may not be enough to ensure your son or daughte inherit their share of the estate! Yes, it’s true.

Any changing circumstances in your family and business will reflect in your will. Have you made a will and you concerned it may not protect your family and estate as you originally intended?

It’s worrying, isn’t it? I know you have wills and they may not protect your family and estate! That’s why my clients regularly review their wills to ensure it’s up to date.

What they’ve found is that there are more robust and secure ways to protect their property.

Now their property remains in their family and they avoid probate fees, and they don’t have to worry about sideways disinheritance.

When was the last you had your will reviewed to ensure it’s still valid and meets your current needs and requirements?

You can learn how to protect your family and your business in your free consultation.

Families and households in the UK- Office for National Statistics

According to the Office for National Statistics 2016, there were 18.9 million families in the UK. Over half of UK families do not have wills.

One disinherited child is one child too many. Will your family and other loved ones inherit your property and your assets?

Disinherited stories: Disinherited children suffer the emotional pain of disinheritance 

Paul, being 17 years old and eldest in his family, possesses dual heritage and lives in Nottingham.

Paul has been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Paul’s mother died a few years ago from a heart attack. Paul is still going through bereavement.

As a result of his age and behaviour, Richard and Pam asked for social care intervention. They have been considering over time, the future of their children what is going to happen when they pass.

Their thought is that they feel like wishing Paul for disinheritance from the family. Paul now lives in semi-independent living accommodation. Richard and Pam feel this is the best for all the family.

Paul’s sibling, Sarah is 13 years old and Gabby is 12 years. Richard, his dad, is African Caribbean aged 55. Paul is remarried to Pam at the age 52 and is Caucasian.

Pam lost her husband, Hubert, in a car crash a few years ago. After the funeral and a period of bereavement counselling, Pam met Richard, fell in love and decided to remarry. Her son, Gerry, is aged 15 and is Caucasian.

The emotional effects of disinheritance have devastating effects on families

Richard and Pam are successful business owners. They live in a 4-bedroom house in the Park and have a few years left on their mortgage. They enjoy a good lifestyle and provide excellent schooling for their children.

Richard is well spoken, sociable and sometimes communicates in a passive-aggressive manner. Pam communicates well, and is often misunderstood by Paul as she speaks her mind. So he interprets this as being aggressive behaviour.

The thing is that they love each other, all the children, however, find it difficult to support Paul to manage his behaviour and they are considering disinheriting Paul.

Disinheriting a child reasons varies in families

They feel they have done all they can do for Paul and want to separate from him, but there are a few problems that lie ahead of their family:

  • There is a conflict within their family, Pam and her children don’t get on with Paul, and unless there is family intervention, the problem will only get worse.
  • Richard’s love and affection for Paul is under strain and their relationship is at breaking point. They need to consider marital counselling to help learn and understand each other.
  • Paul risks being disinherited from the estate and becomes another number added to the statistics of disinherited children in the UK.
  • Paul’s disinheritance from the estate means when he has children – Richard’s grandchildren also lose their inheritance.
  • If Richard passes suddenly and Pam remarries, his children could be disinherited and they make claims through the courts for what rightfully their inheritance is.
  • Richard and Pam do not have the correct personal, family, property and business protection they need.
  • Even if they had basic wills, it could be later be contested in court and their children may not receive what they originally intended.

Paul’s story of the emotional effects of disinheritance

Paul’s behaviour at the age 7 was different to Sarah and Gabby, Paul had regular tantrums and physically aggressive towards them.

Paul behaved in similar ways to other children and teachers at his school. Paul was later diagnosed with ADHD.

As years went by, Paul’s behaviour got progressively worse and he attended education sessions in a pupil referral unit with students with similar behaviours.

Paul felt a sense of “belonging”, and this was the start of his journey in offending behaviour. His family became less understanding and tolerant of his behaviour towards them.

The psychological and emotional effects of disinheritance can affect behaviour

Paul felt he had no sense of identity. Feeling ostracised and rejected by his family, Paul decided to spend even more time with his friends after education sessions.

Paul got used to being with his friends and made the decision to join a gang. Paul, being a regular offender, got involved in substance misuse and drugs.

Paul said he needed protection so would also carry a knife. The police visited his home regularly and Richard and Pam often went to court appearance with Paul.

When Paul was at home and became angry with them when he asked for money, if they refused to give it to them, he would threaten to stab them with his knife.

The effects of unequal disinheritance separate families

The stress and anxiety eventually took its toll on his family and they asked Paul to leave home. It was heart-breaking, a member of the family separated.

Richard and Pam felt it was the only way to keep them safe and help Paul prepare for adulthood. They could no longer cope with Paul’s behaviour. Enough is enough!

Richard and Pam want to disinherit Paul from the estate, as his erratic behaviour could lead to him wasting any money he inherited from them. They are prepared to give his share it to charity. 

The emotional effects of disinheritance means children find ways to deal with losing their inheritance

Social care intervened at a foster care placement was found for Paul and he said goodbye to his family.

Paul was on the first step being disinherited from his family if his behaviour didn’t change for the better.

The foster placement broke down after two months and Paul was accommodated in semi-independent living for young people aged from 16-18.

Paul was now living with his “new family” strangers really, but it’s all he had for now.  Although Paul was with support staff, he felt lonely, frustrated and confused.

Paul knows his family are well off and doesn’t want to be excluded from his inheritance. Paul thought about having children and wanted them not to receive an inheritance.

Children’s Mental Health Services and professional support for young people to manage the emotional effects of disinheritance

Paul misses his family and wants to be with them. Paul had time to reflect on his life and the lifestyle choices he made. A referral was made to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services.

He was ready for the change. Paul with the help of his family, social workers, education health and support workers, agreed to work with them so that he could return home.

The emotional effects of disinheritance affect emotional health and well-being of children and young people

Taking into account age and understanding, professionals should always involve children and young people in discussions and decisions about their emotional health and well-being.

There is a teenage mental health crisis in the UK and children and young people need help to succeed in school. Let’s work in partnership and help them achieve their dreams, goals, and aspirations.

How to deal with being disinherited by parents

Paul recognised he was angry with his parents and he had to change his behaviour. Paul agreed to work with professionals so they could help him understand his behaviour, and better understand its impact on others.

They helped Paul find appropriate strategies to manage his behaviour. Paul is now at home with his family.

Disinherited grandchild: Do grandchildren have a right to inheritance?

It depends. Are you aware that you can leave an inheritance for your grandson or daughter? Well, you can.

As an estate planning consultant in Nottingham, this is what I do. Learn how to ensure they inherit your wealth here.

My story of the emotional effects of disinheritance

My mother disinherited me and my father disinherited me from the estate. How did it happen?

Well, they had discussions with me about estate planning, but no legal and financial protection was in place to protect their property and business.

Well, they had discussions with me about estate planning, but no legal and financial protection was in place to protect their property and business.

My mother died in her 50s and my father remarried and died in his 80s. That’s how I was disinherited; it’s as easy as that to disinherit your son or daughter from their legacy. My children were also disinherited.

That’s how grandchildren including my children get disinherited from their inheritance. Do you want your children and grandchildren to inherit your wealth?

Unintended consequences of disinheriting children lead to resentment in families

Dealing with being disinherited from the estate took time. Overcoming disinheritance is different in families.

The pain of being disinherited in my case has gone away, however psychological effects of disinheritance affect us in different ways.

Unequal disinheritance places children who inherit wealth in an awkward position

For some, there are feelings of despair and of anger. It can be many years for the healing process to bring a sense of peace and acceptance, pick up the pieces and carry on with their lives.

Would you let your son or daughter suffer the consequences of disinheritance? You’ve worked hard over the years. Someone inherits your property when you pass. You can’t take it with you!

When my mother and father passed and were buried, I noticed at the funeral they didn’t take their property with them. That’s because they couldn’t!

Do you know, for sure, your family and other loved ones inherit it? Learn all the options available to leave your property and wealth to your beneficiaries here.

What is the current population the UK?

It’s around 66,282,221. Yes, that’s a lot of people of which some of them will disinherit their son or daughter. How do we know this?

Well, whilst you may not believe everything to read or hear in the media, from my own experience as an estate planning consultant, every year I see people disinherit their children.

So when you look at the UK population, over half of them over 55 do not have wills! That means the likelihood of disinheritance is very high!

What can you do to prevent the emotional effects of disinheritance in your family?

The emotional effects of disinheritance have life changing consequences for sons and daughters disinherited from the estate.

First of all, consider your own family and business being protected. Share this message with others so that they too can be protected from disinheritance.

Can you exclude a child from your will?

It has been done as already mentioned, but your will could be contested. Richard and Pam knew they had only a few years on the mortgage.

They knew and understood having wills mean when they pass, their wills could be challenged. Furthermore, they didn’t want Paul to have his share of inheritance too early.

What they did was that they had a free consultation with me.  When they pass, trustees will manage the estate and ensure all their children receive an income.

Will the emotional effects of disinheritance affect your son or daughter?

Only you can answer this question. When you look at Paul’s picture what thoughts and feelings come to mind? Take your time and look carefully.

How do you feel knowing this could be your child or relative sitting there helpless not knowing what to do?

Disinheriting, being disinherited has long-term effects on children, adult children, and grandchildren

Just imagine their hopes and dreams shattered because you didn’t protect your legacy for them to inherit. I mean, it’s your decision and you know what the best is for them. The government has already received billions from families.

What are your thoughts? Do you know the same thing could happen to your son or daughter if the correct protection isn’t in place?

Here are a few benefits when your son or daughter inherits their share of the estate:

  • Financial help with college fees
  • Financial contribution towards university fees
  • Help to clear debts
  • Financial help towards marriage and civil partnership costs
  • Help to purchase their new home
  • Make financial investments
  • Financial help to start a business
  • Help towards holidays
  • Financial help towards health and medical costs
  • Financial help for later life and retirement planning

When you think about it, if they were disinherited, it would be more difficult for them to have the financial support to help them achieve their dreams and aspirations.

Estate planning with families is fundamental to achieve help them have personal, family, property and business protection

I think that it is really important for families to discuss estate plan with each other. In so doing it can be clear what current financial and legal safeguards are in place.

When we care and value each other, it means we’ll achieve more and make the UK a better place to live and raise our children.

I want you to let know that I believe in you and you can make a difference in your family. Together we can share with others how to prevent disinheritance in their families.

Imagine your son or daughters’ future, they inherit your property and then pass it on to their children when they pass. Yes, it can be done.  I’ll show you how to do this.

What will you do?

I became an estate planning consultant in Nottingham to help others learn how to leave wealth to their loved ones.

It’s surprising really how often I hear to say after reading my blogs that they either didn’t know enough about estate planning or want to share their learning with others.

If you feel you’ve been impacted by what you’ve learned and what to do this right thing by protecting your share of the estate for your loved ones, this is for you.

Now it would be a good time for you to contact us for your free consultation. You can do this here

Children in the UK get disinherited by their parents and carers

Will your son or daughter suffer from the emotional effects of disinheritance? Well, only you can decide their future.

Get FREE estate planning sessions, that helps you leave your share of the estate to your family, and other loved ones.

Avoid the emotional effects of disinheritance in your family

For more information and your free consultation session with us, call today on 03332 12 20 51 or email

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The information in this blog has been prepared for general information purposes only. Views recorded are subject to change. It does not constitute any form of legal or financial advice.

No liability is accepted for decisions or actions you take reading the information on this blog. It is recommended that specific professional advice is obtained for your particular situation.